This is a pretty important question guys… which keychain bottle opener should I get?
- friend: *whispering* if you're stupid say "what"
- me: what
- friend: OH MAN
- OH DEAR FUCKING CHRIST
- I GOT YOU SO GOOD, THAT WAS AWESOME
- SWEET, SWEET DICKS IN MY MOUTH. I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED THIS HARD. EVER.
- JESUS. JESUS HELP ME.
I worked out with my new Vibrams and took a nice long shower and I feel really good yeah
Waking up and checking your Tumblr like it’s the morning paper
Am I the only one who thinks it must be really awkward setting your relationship status as “it’s complicated” with someone?
Shoutout to my mom for my fast metabolism
I think I might go to sleep now since I have to work soon
Omg MJ wrote “it’s really freaking funny” and for a good forty second I was absolutely stunned that she typed out “fucking” and then I realized she didn’t
the other day my two coworkers somehow ended up in this really intense conversation about cops and whether they would rather be tased or pepper sprayed and then our manager walks up to them mid-conversation and goes “you know what i love about turtle farms?” and we all just kinda looked at him